[ child cooing ]
Hey, it's almost 7:30.
Hmm, would you please try to move your boys along?
Come on! Let's go, guys! Finish up!
Ho, ho, hold on.
Ooh, I got that.
Mommy says you're not supposed to eat sweet foods
because it's bad for you.
And I say that we're not supposed to waste food.
But if you eat that, your legs can fall off.
What?
We learned about diabetes in school.
It can make your legs fall off.
Aren't your legs loose?
No, my legs are on good and tight.
And I'll show you by... kicking your butt!
If you don't get up there and brush your teeth, boy!
Brush 'em!
[ engine idling ]
[ engine shuts off ]
It's passive-aggressive.
I mean, why can't he just be out here?
Why do we have to go get him?
Let's just leave without him.
You can wait in the car.
No. No, no, no, because what happens is,
You go in, and he shows you some picture he took
of a windmill or some other bullshit,
You get distracted, and I'm stuck sitting out here,
getting dirty looks from the neighbors.
This is a nice place.
I've always thought, all they gotta do is keep it up a little.
Guys. Guys, you see an ambulance or paramedics out there? No, why?
Oh, come on, they should have been here by now!
What? What do you mean?
What's going on here?!
Okay, Alice, my building manager...
(Joe) Who, the old lady?
She's in there. She's dead.
What?! You're kidding me.
No, no, her door was open,
and I peeked my head in to see if she wanted anything from the store,
and she was back in the bedroom.
I called 911 like 10 minutes ago.
You sure she's dead?
Yeah, I-I-I tried taking her pulse,
but there was nothing -- she must have had a heart attack.
Well, sometimes you can't feel the pulse. You sure?
No, yeah. I'm sure.
What about -- what about breathing?
You know, my dog, we would think he was dead,
but if you waited long enough, then you'd see the...
[ breathing heavily ]
Joe, I checked. She is definitely dead.
There's nothing we can do, all right?!
All right, I'm just saying we should double-check.
So double-check!
Okay!
[ sighs ]
Come with me.
I'm good.
What do you mean, you're good? We could save a life here.
Really? "I'm good"?
Okay, all right. All right, all right.
Here we go.
You didn't say she was sitting up!
She's sitting up?!
Sure? She wasn't siitin' up when I left her.
[ laughs ]
Oh, that's funny. That's funny.
[ both laugh ]
She's looking right at me.
You think she's already one of the undead?
Could be. Happens quick.
Okay, all right.
Disrespectful, dickheads.
There's a dead lady in there -- her eyes are totally open.
I'm supposed to just roll with that.
[ sighs ] shit. You should have warned me, man.
Oh, man, I shouldn't have went in there.
Wow, that's some apartment.
Yeah.
So, when you called 911,
did you say she was dead? Yes.
Oh, well, that's why they're not hustling over here.
You got to say she's dying.
(Terry) Ah.
So, tell me again.
Why, exactly, were you in her bedroom?
I said I found her in there.
[ siren wails in distance ] she's 80.
So? She's 80. You're 50.
Your girlfriend's 20. Do the math.
You're all perverts.
Are you kidding me?
♫ Men of a Certain Age 1x08 ♫ You Gonna Do That the Rest of Your Life? ♪ when I grow up to be a man ♪
Original Air Date on February 1, 2010 ♪ will I dig the same things that turn me on as a kid? ♪
♪ will I look back and say ♪
♪ tt I wish I hadn't done what I did? ♪
♪ will I joke around? ♪
♪ and still dig those sounds ♪ ♪ will I still joke around ♪
♪ and still dig those sounds ♪ ♪ when I grow up to be a man? ♪
-- Sync, corrected by elderman -- -- for addic7ed.Com --
Fellas, listen.
I'm having a housewarming party tonight.
"housewarming"? What?
Well, I-I-I moved into Alice's apartment.
Are you serious? She's been dead three days.
I know, I know. I was at her funeral this morning.
Very moving.
So you're dressed for a funeral?
Did you have a shovel with you?
Let me finish.
Oh, finish. Go ahead.
You've seen her apartment. It's pretty sweet, right?
Needs a little fixing up.
But anyway, I'm at the funeral,
and I'm talking to the landlord,
and now, of course, they need a new building manager.
So, you know, my schedule's somewhat flexible.
I say, "how 'bout me?"
So that means you get the apartment for free.
All 1,500 square feet.
But that's not even a job, really.
You show the apartment every once in a while,
you water people's plants when they go on vacation.
I don't think I have to water people's plants.
You got to be shittin' me!
The only thing is, it's a dead lady's apartment.
What do you think they do with dead people's apartments?
"hey, she's dead. Let's burn it"?
I'm just saying, you don't think it's a little too soon?
First of all, it's a known religious fact
that the soul moves on in 36 hours.
That's not a real thing, is it?
Wow. No.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
Look, I'm just going on record saying,
this party's wrong.
But in spite of that,
I'm coming, and I'm bringing a chick.
Dori, okay?
Can't promise you I'm not gonna have sex in your kitchen.
So deal with that. That's great.
You bring her. Annie will be there, too.
Oh, good. Maybe they'll kiss.
[ chuckles ]
You coming?
Yeah, if I can get a sitter.
I just can't believe he's got people dropping dead
for his convenience.
Well, I wouldn't put it that way,
but I will say this.
Good things sometimes come my way.
And I believe it is because...
(Joe) You're the devil.
No. No.
Because I put out a positive vibe.
Okay, you can stop that shit right now. What?
Okay, it's bad enough that great stuff just happens to fall into your lap,
But please don't try to chalk it up to some cosmic karma you got going.
All I'm saying is,
I just leave myself open to the positive something
that you might want to try.
Oh, okay. You're right.
This egg white scramble is terrific.
No, still sucks.
See?
[ ball rattles in can ]
One.
[ toilet flushes ]
Whoo!
That was close.
Every time I eat mexican,
I got to drive home with my ass out the window.
Yeah. I think I pulled something in my arm wiping.
Almost called you in to look at it.
Ah, 800, right? Yeah.
It's in the envelope.
Boy, Atlanta screwed you this week.
Yeah, tell me about it. You see the shot at the buzzer?
Ugh. Unbelievable.
Ah, you're peeking. Picking your head up.
Yeah, no. No. No, I'm not.
Joe, I'm being nice.
Your swing's all over the place.
You play?
Yeah, I play.
Let me show you what you're doing wrong.
No, I mean, I'm... I'm pretty good.
Me too. I play all the time.
I'm just saying, I'm...
I'm a scratch, so I kind of know what I'm doing wrong.
[ scoffing ] yeah. You're a scratch.
"scratch your ass" maybe.
How 'bout I show you by doing it?
All right.
How 'bout $100, first one to get it in?
I like the balls, Joe.
[ chuckling ]
Got to regrip this shit. It's sliding all over the place.
Yeah, they're -- they're a little old.
[ sighs ]
Hmm. All right.
Double or nothing.
Really? Yeah.
I got the kinks out now, weirdo. All right.
Mm-hmm.
Mother!
I mean, it'll look bad,
but you really only missed that by a little,
'cause you came over it a little. Don't patronize me.
[ ball rattles in can ]
[ chuckles lightly ]
Two in a row.
[ breathes deeply ]
Here we go.
[ slaps desk ]
Whole $800.
B-but wait. I mean, how long are we gonna go?
This is it. And you go first this time.
All right.
That's okay. I'm locked in now.
How the hell did you hit three in a row?
I mean, I got lucky there,
but, you know, I am a scratch, so...
Wait a minute. You really are a scratch golfer? Yeah.
Well, this is bullshit, then!
What do you mean? I told you.
No, but if you're really a scratch,
you got to say that.
You got to say, "hey, before we bet,
"I'm really a scratch.
No, really. I'm really a scratch"!
[ chuckling ] I said I'm a scratch.
Joe, if I said my dick was a foot long,
Would you think it was really a foot long?
Well, I-I-I would know that it's pretty big.
Not a foot long, Joe!
If it was a foot long, I'd take it out and show you.
Look, forget about it. Just take the -- keep the money, all right?
I don't -- you know, we were just playing around.
No, I'm not gonna keep the money.
You tricked me, and I lost it.
I-I didn't trick you.
Hey, take it easy.
I'd be doing this shit if I had a foot-long dick, asshole?
Listen, you've been very nice --
I'm sorry -- in terms of resale and trade-in,
The Malibu holds its value better than any other car in its class.
Oh, he's in trouble now.
Very, very much so.
(Lawrence: [ as Owen ]) So, uh, why don't I start the paperwork?
(Marcus: [ as Mrs. Michaelman ]) That, that, that's okay. We're gonna keep looking.
[ as Mr. Michaelman ] You know, we really should get going.
You know, your man boobs, scaring my wife.
Okay, um...
Let me at least give you my card.
It's in here somewhere.
Uh, oh, no, that's roast beef.
No, here it is.
Why don't you just keep it? You know, really?
Uh, your nipples are sweating through your shirt.
I can get you very attractive financing!
[ as Mrs. Michaelman ] Is it me, honey, or is he sweaty?
[ sighs ]
Well...
time to eat a cake.
[ snorts ]
[ Marcus clears throat ]
There he is.
Hey, uh, why don't you use some of this
to lure those people back?
You might hate me, but would you hate...
bear claw...
(Marcus) No, he needs those.
Losing sales burns a lot of energy.
(Lawrence) Mm-hmm. Right?
Kiss my ass.
I got customers walking in the door.
I got a sales force in here blabbing.
Owen.
Why don't we let Marcus take the point on this...
and you can finish chewing?
You got crumbs all over you.
Joe, hold up a second.
What's up?
Roll the window down.
What's going on?
I've been waiting out here a while.
I want to apologize.
For what?
"for what"?
Getting all hairy on you there.
Ahh. You're fine.
No, I had no right.
I shouldn't have gotten mad like that.
I apologize.
Okay?
I apologize. Okay.
Bottom line, I want to make it up to you.
I'm gonna get us a tee time over at Riverton Pines.
Hey, no. You don't got to do that, really.
You don't -- you don't got to.
You know, Riverton Pines is a private course.
You got to be a member there.
What do you mean? I am a member.
Riverton Pines? Wow.
Why "wow"?
What? You're surprised they take "my kind"?
Is that what you're saying?
No.
[ sighs ] All right, look.
I'm gonna get us a tee time tomorrow,
and we're gonna have some fun.
All right.
Should be fun.
All right! Yeah.
Pick you up at 7:00?
All right. Too early?
Still jerking off?
[ chuckles ]
No, I'm done jerking off by 7:00.
Me too.
All right, see you at 7:00.
All right.
No jeans.
Got it.
[ engine turns over ]
[ indistinct conversations ]
Wow. This is quite a place.
His bathroom is even bigger than ours.
Of course it is.
And where'd he get that nice antique armoire?
It came with it.
They threw it in with all the other shit
that falls in his lap, because he's the "lucky shit" man.
[ chuckles ]
And that must be...
Yep. Yep.
She is pretty hot.
"lucky shit" man.
(Terry) All right, here we go, everybody!
My homemade moussaka.
Ah, moussaka!
[ crowd murmuring ]
[ chuckling ] Help yourselves, all right?
Oh, hey.
[ door closes ] Hey, you made it.
How you doin'? Terry.
How you doin'? Good, good.
Nothing more romantic than a dead lady's apartment.
You're still on that? Yes, he is.
(Owen) Oh, man!
One thing this boy can do is cook!
Mm!
Oh, hey, uh, Dori, this is Owen.
Owen, Dori.
Don't get food on her.
Pleasure. [ laughs ]
Nice to meet you.
Look, Joe, if it'll make you feel better,
in Alice's honor, I kept a few of her pictures around.
Yeah. You know, right now,
Alice is just floating above all this,
Going, "really, God, that dick got my apartment?"
[ laughter ]
Look, I, uh, I made some homemade cider.
Give me a hand, "O."
Mm. [ chuckles ]
You really got to try this.
Yeah, we believe you.
Go. Chew. Chew, man. Yeah.
[ chuckling ]
Hey, this is only our third date.
You already heard me call terry a dick.
No, I think you did that on our first date.
Yeah, well, he wasn't there. True.
Hey, well, maybe later, I'll call him a dick.
I would love that.
Don't tease me.
[ laughs ] [ chuckles ]
This is stupid good.
Big man.
Slow down.
[ scoffs ] Come on.
Cider, man. Come on, I need your help.
Cider.
I'll be right back. Okay.
Mm-mm!
[ smooching ]
Wait right here.
My pepper spray
[ both chuckle ]
Well, I'm -- I'm Melissa.
Oh. Annie.
(Joe) You know, it's weird. I mean, it's --
It's her wedding day.
She's not thinking she's ever gonna die.
Not there. Not at that moment.
You know? Nobody knows.
Let's get you a drink.
Yeah? Yeah.
[ both laugh ]
All right.
[ Owen grunting ]
Okay, everybody!
All right, I just -- thank you.
I just want to say a few things.
Uh, first of all...
Um, there's some homemade cider over there.
It packs a little punch, so be careful.
It kicks ass, people!
I'm going in hard,
so get it while you can, bitches!
[ laughter ]
(Terry) Okay. Okay.
I just wanted to say, also, how great it is
that you could all be here to, uh, join me in, uh...
the new abode.
Um, someone -- Robert Frost --
David Frost --
Frosty the snowman -- I don't know, exactly --
somebody once said that a house doesn't become a home
until one fills it with friends.
Tonight, this place became my home.
Hey. Hear, hear.
[ chuckles ] Nice.
Now. Call him it now. [ snorts ]
I look at this as a new beginning,
The start of a new journey.
You changing your commute?
Actually, no, I think I'm gonna go with no commute.
This new arrangement allows me to sort of back off
on the accounting gig, so...
We're gonna miss him.
[ laughs ]
Well, that's great, Terry.
So you can focus on your acting now, yeah?
Yeah, sure.
Although to be honest, you know,
there are a number of passions I'd like to explore.
Really?
Yeah, you know, I don't know. We'll see.
What's great is, now [chuckles] I can finally relax.
[ laughing] You have no idea how much work it takes
to be an out-of-work actor. [ laughs ]
Come on, we'll do it together.
Ready? [ chuckles ]
Anyway...
It's just gonna be great to, you know, just...
[sighs] take things a little easier, without all the...
pressure.
So, uh, what are some of these passions
you might explore?
Wow. Um...
maybe really get the photography thing going.
Do some writing.
Maybe a combination of both.
Or... watercolors?
You know, I haven't gotten that specific yet.
[ laughs ]
[ sighs ] Wow, you guys really hated that moussaka.
Here.
[ chuckling ] Let me get a new dish.
Nailed it. [ chuckling ]
[ clears throat ]
Watercolors.
Yeah, he's messed up.
[ both chuckle ]
And that Annie -- she can't be more than 30.
(Owen) She's 25.
Oh, my God. Oh. Sorry.
Thanks, Stella.
Really is hard to watch him go on that way.
Because he really could do something with his life. I know.
That's a nice apartment, though.
[ chuckles ] I'm going to bed.
I'm gonna watch a little bit of TV. Melissa: Oh. Okay.
I'll see you in a minute.
[ knocking ]
(Terry) Hang on!
[ exhales ]
Give me a second.
Shelly. I'm sorry to bother you so early like this, Terry,
but there's this awful smell and sludge
coming through the drain in my shower.
I think it might be poo.
Huh.
You better call a plumber right away. Okay.
A-and I'm supposed to be at the motor vehicle office at 8:00
for the new picture for my driver's license.
Could I use your shower?
S-s-sure.
Okay. Yeah.
Thanks so much. Come on in. Yeah.
Just right, uh...
Right -- right through there.
Okay.
Morning.
Your father is such a nice man.
(Man) I can't believe the key would just snap off like that.
It happens with some of these old locks.
Okay, here are your keys. You've got two spares.
I'd give one to someone you trust who lives nearby,
Like a neighbor or...
hey, Terry. Can you hang onto this for me?
Uh, yeah, sure. Thanks, man.
Uh, you know, I'm not always gonna be here to --
Here you go. I...
Hi. Are you the new manager guy?
I need you to fi--
Just one sec. Just real quick.
No, just a sec.
Um, okay, so...
I'll have the landlord send you a check?
You don't have a check?
Fine. Send it to me.
But I know where you live,
and I can get into any of these units.
[ chuckles ]
Dude...
Hi.
I just put $2 into that big dryer down there,
and it won't get hot.
Can you, um, fix that?
I-I don't think I have the right tools.
[ sighs ] Okay, well... it's broken.
Okay.
Um... you know what?
I'll -- I'll call somebody.
Actually, you know what I was thinking?
What would be great is if you set up a clothesline,
run it from one balcony to the other.
That'd be so much better for the environment, you know?
Plus, it'll look like Florence.
[ chuckles ] Yeah. Um...
Anyway, let me know.
I'm Elissa, unit 7. I am pro clothesline.
Oh, Terry!
Terry, the sanitation company -- uh, Terry?
Terry, the...
[ knock on door ]
[ water running ]
Keep your backswing a little shorter
than your follow-through, also.
(Manfro) Okay.
That's a good one.
Sorry, man, no women permitted till after 2:00.
Funny.
You know what? They also have a "no douchebags" policy.
Here you are.
Ohh.
Hey, uh, Joe, Douchebags. Douchebags, Joe.
Uh, hey.
Wags. Hey, Joe.
Ski-bo. Hey.
I invited these two humps to join us.
Hope that's cool, Joe.
Yeah, no, sure.
How you want to do this?
I think we should play teams.
You guys are both like a 12 handicap, right?
I'm a 14, and Joe here, he's good.
He's like a 10, so that's perfect.
Okay. Nassau? How much?
How much can you lose and not throw clubs? [ chuckles ]
Let's start with $500, see what happens.
All right, good deal. Let's get going.
The guys ahead of us hit already.
All right.
What the hell's going on?
Looks like we're about to win a thousand bucks
off a pair of assholes.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Come on, I didn't agree to this.
Joe, we're just doing a little golfing,
along with a little gambling.
And from what I remember, you're a fan of both.
Yeah, this is a scam. You told them I'm a 10 handicap. [ sighs ]
I don't want to do this.
Don't get all high and mighty.
You scammed me pretty good the other day.
That wasn't a scam!
Who cares? I'm putting up the money.
All you got to do is hit the ball and look pretty.
And by the way, if it helps,
these assholes are pricks.
Actual pricks. I ain't being funny.
Took a bunch of my mom's IRA money,
put it in some Hedge-Fund thing,
now it's worth shit.
Never apologized or anything.
So they deserve it.
Quit whining, and let's put our balls in the air.
[ exhales sharply ]
That's a golf term, Joe.
Yeah, I know. I know.
Look at me.
Don't be a pussy. Focus.
[ gear shifts ]
(Melissa) Jamie?
Owen.
Owen, Owen, Owen. Wake up. Wake up.
What the hell? I can't find Jamie.
[ exhales ] What?
He -- he's not in his bed. He's not in the bathroom.
He's not in the playroom.
I do not know where he is.
Jamie!
Jamie?!
Jamie?
[ sighs ]
Jamie?
Come here.
Look at this.
[ both sigh ]
Jamie.
Jamie, wake up.
[ grunts ]
What are you doing under here, sweetie?
[ grunts ]
[ breathes deeply ]
Why do you have this?
[ clatter ]
[ camera clicks shut ]
So, so, what were you -- what were you thinking?
Huh? Sneaking around at night.
You worried your mother half to death.
And who do you think you are,
taking my camera without permission?
I hope, for your sake, it's not broken.
Go on, get in your room. Go on.
But, daddy, I was just try--
You were just nothing. You were just nothing, okay?
Just, go ahead, get in your room.
Right now.
I'm gonna go, uh, put this away.
[ knock on door ]
(Mr. Fisher) Terry?
Hello?
[ knocking continues ]
Terry?
I think he's still in there.
He hasn't been out since this morning.
[ loud voice ] Uh, okay,
Well, I guess I'll have to come back later.
Hey [chuckles] Mr. Fisher.
That was weird. Mm-hmm.
I mean, I was, uh, you know, doing some stretching --
You know, downward dog -- that's why I was down there,
and then I...
A-anyway, h-how are you guys?
Yeah, Terry, I...
I tried to get ahold of you before,
and I guess you didn't hear me,
'cause you were in a big hurry,
and I didn't want to bother you,
But the, uh, Sanitation Company keeps,
uh, putting the dumpster back
tight in front of my parking space.
And it's too big for me to move.
I try to tell them about it,
they don't seem to care.
So I am fed up.
Oh.
You want me to talk to them? Yeah.
Y-you don't happen to have their phone number, do you?
I believe it's on the dumpster.
Yeah, okay. All right, I'll get on that.
I thought Alice was useless.
This guy really takes the cake.
[ grunts ]
[ knocking on window ]
Hey.
What's up, Ter? Uh...
Please don't tell me we need the roto-rooter guy again.
He was just here.
No, no. No, no, no. Everything's great.
Building's great. I am loving the job.
Okay.
Although I wanted to bounce something off you.
Kind of an adjustment in the way
that I would approach the job.
I think ideally, I guess, what would be best
is if I could have access to that apartment,
but not be as involved in the, you know,
the day-to-day management of the whole building.
That's just not the way it's done.
[ chuckling ] Well, s-sure, I...
You know, Terry, it strikes me as a little odd
this job is too much for you.
I mean, the last manager was 80 years old.
Yeah, well, you know,
I mean, maybe because Alice was 80,
the other tenants, you know, they just held back.
But, you know, now they got a young guy in there,
and they're just going to town.
Out of curiosity,
what would it cost me to just rent that apartment
and not manage the building?
$3,000 a month.
Wow.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, then, I guess I'll just --
just gonna move back into my old place.
Can't do that, 'cause I already rented it out.
Somebody's moving in next week.
So, you can quit managing and pay the rent
or move out.
Okay?
[ engine turns over ]
Nice shot, partner.
You too, bro.
That was a great shot from where you were.
Where are you?
Lost mine in the trees. I'm out of the hole.
We got to get it going.
Yeah. Hey, Joe.
What's going on? You said you were scratch.
I am a scratch. All right? Just...
[ sighs ]
I don't like scamming them, all right?
It's affecting me.
We're not scamming anybody.
You know what's a scam?
You saying you're scratch playing like a bowl of piss.
I'm feeling a little pressure here, okay?
I'm just not great... under pressure.
If you got to know, that's what --
that's how I crapped out of ever being a pro.
[ scoffs ] You were a pro.
I was actually on the mini tour a long time ago.
A little while, that's all.
That's what got me.
Everybody's great under no pressure.
And then when you have a little pressure,
only some people are great.
All right, all right. I get it.
I'll tell you what.
Just relax. Pressure's off.
All right. [ whistling ]
Take your time, Joe.
[ both chuckling ]
[ sighs ]
Aw, come on, Joe!
That time, there was no pressure.
I see what you're doing wrong, Joe.
I'd be happy to tell you after the round. Yeah.
[ both chuckling ] [ sighs ]
What the hell? Where'd that ball come from?
Manfro, did you throw that just to screw with him?
That's uncool, man.
No, but if that's what it takes to win,
I'm gonna do it every hole.
It came from over there somewhere.
Dicks can't yell "fore"?
That's bullshit!
Hey, that happens all the time. It was an accident.
You mind, Joe? I'm putting here.
Let the man putt, Joe.
Yeah, dog!
Hoo hoo hoo!
(Man) [ asian accent ] Excuse me.
Do you maybe see a ball come over here?
Yeah, um... No. No, we didn't see a ball.
Okay, have a good game.
Sorry to bother you. Thank you.
Buh-bye.
Bye.
[ with asian accent ] Yeah, we no see your ball. So sorry.
[ with asian accent ] Yeah, maybe you yell "fore!" next time.
[ both chuckling ]
You already lost the hole.
Yeah, I know.
I just want to make this one.
Let him practice.
Oh, sure. Now you make it, Joe.
Great. Great timing.
Okay, listen, the whole left side's out of bounds here.
I'm thinking, the way you're hitting,
you might want to use an iron instead of a driver.
I'll be okay with this.
Driver was definitely the club.
(Joe) Yeah.
Tried to cut the corner?
It's gonna hit the tree.
It's going over the tree.
It's over the tree.
You overshot it.
No, I didn't.
Yeah.
Aw. Good shot, Joe. Aw, that's gonna be nice.
Yeah! That's ridiculous.
Don't worry about that, Joe. I got that.
[ knock on door ]
Hey.
Um, look, I'm sorry about eating all that junk.
I know you hate that.
But, um, I got to say,
I-I think it's a control issue.
I really do.
I mean, think about it. I have no control in my life.
I got a house that's too small and too unfinished.
And at work, everything I do is on somebody else's schedule.
You know, I show up when my dad says,
I take a break or eat or pee
basically when he says it's okay.
And really the only time that I have control is...
is when I eat.
And for me,
to have someone try to control
what I put in my mouth is very...
tough, emotionally.
I see.
Yeah, so, anyway,
something good might actually, um...
come from Jamie catching me
with his little candid camera like that.
'cause I'm really -- I'm really gonna try harder
not to eat bad stuff. Okay?
Yeah, all -- all that is valid.
But do you understand why your son did what he did?
I mean, do you think that he really wanted to catch you?
He's afraid his father is going to die.
You think that's gonna go away
if I go out there and say to him,
"daddy's gonna try a little harder"?
Hey, bud.
Do you mind, um, turning that off for a minute?
Let me save it.
Listen, bud.
I'm really sorry I yelled at you this morning.
And -- and I'm so sorry that you feel like
you have to videotape me.
I'm making a promise to you right now, okay?
I'm going to eat right.
Daddy's gonna be healthy.
And that's a promise.
And you know that daddy never breaks a promise.
Right?
Yeah.
[ grunts ] There we go.
[ grunting ]
I caught you.
[ laughs ]
Yeah. Yeah, you did.
Look where your ball mark is Joe.
You almost holed that sucker.
Yeah. Held up in the wind a little.
Come on, big Joe. Make it, we tie.
Miss it, you lose. [ chuckl ]
Miss.
Aah.
Yeah!!
Suck on that!
Oh, yeah, that's the way the boy does it!
It's a tie, Manfro. Relax.
Yeah, but you had us dead in the water.
We came back, douchie.
Wait, wait, wait.
We got to have a sudden-death tiebreaker.
Back to the tee. One hole.
As our chinese friends say, "so sorry."
Yeah, we got to go. We got a conference call.
Give me some, bro.
[ scoffs ] "conference call."
They got to go empty the "scared shit" out of their pants.
Damn right, Joe.
[ grunts ] way to go.
I'd kiss you, but I know you'd get all weird on me.
Yeah, that'd be a little weird.
Man, we almost beat those pricks.
Yeah, it was fun to watch them squirm.
You're legit, Joe.
You really could play serious golf.
Yeah, I know it looks that way,
But it's like I told you -- no, no, no.
If pressure's your bugaboo, you just kicked it.
I think I just kind of got pissed off.
That's how you deal with it.
Whenever you're under pressure,
picture two douchebags insulting an Asian guy.
[ chuckles ]
Come on, you're almost 50, right?
Get out there on that Senior Tour.
Naw.
Come on, Joe.
You really want to be filling up balloons
the rest of your life?
[ car beeping ]
You know, it's funny that you mention that, 'cause...
I've been thinking recently...
why this thing happened, and...
did you ever see a dead person?
Where's this going?
[ chuckles ]
No.
No, I saw a dead lady.
You know, and then I saw pictures of her
when she was younger, and...
I just started thinking, like,
what'd she do with her life?
You know, did she do everything she wanted to do?
'cause life is short.
Yeah, it's touching, Joe.
I don't know whether to cry or punch you.
[ engine turns over ] Hey.
Don't put this off.
It's not like you can do it when you're 80.
Yeah.
So, check it out, boys.
Look what daddy's eating -- tomatoes.
Mmm.
No need to spy on daddy
because he's a trustworthy,
healthy eater.
That's right!
And we can now use the video camera only...
for birthday parties and school plays,
'cause we know that daddy's gonna eat right. Mm-hmm.
Can I have some of those tomatoes, please? Oh, sure.
See? Mm.
(Marcus) Hey, there he is!
There he is, the "no willpower having sugar sneaker," huh?
Seriously, what is this shit?
I don't always agree with Melissa,
but when she asked for a little help
in monitoring your sugar intake, I thought, "you know what?
"people around here are getting a little too soft
in the middle, anyway."
So enjoy.
All right, I'm going on a doughnut run.
Anybody want to come?
(Owen) Yeah, you guys enjoy that.
I got my treats right here.
And by the way, Lawrence?
What this is,
is delicious jicama.
Hmm? Jicama.
Your wife sucks.
[ sighs ]
It's so nice!
I can't believe how fast you did it.
Hey, Shelly.
What do you think of the new and improved courtyard?
Very nice.
[ chuckles ]
It's beautiful.
It felt good to get it all done.
You know, people forget the value of work
for its own sake.
Like I like to say, the journey is the thing.
You do like to say that.
[ chuckles ]
What?
The journey.
You do like to say that.
Ha ha ha.
(Shelly) Terry!
Yeah, Shel.
My shower is still getting some poo.
[ chuckles ]
[ sighs ]
Do you want to get that?
I'm okay. I'm just gonna stay here.
Okay.
Just lucky I guess, Shelly!
[ sighs deeply ]
[ sighs ]
10 in a row.
Senior Tour.
One.
[ ball thuds ]
Shit.
[ ball rattles in can ]
Five.
It's okay I go home?
Yeah. Yeah, go ahead, Carlos.
[ laughs ]
Uh, you -- you miss.
[ chuckles ]
Yeah, yeah, I missed.
Good night.
Yeah, good night, Carlos.
[ exhales sharply ]
[ ball rattles in can ]
One.
-- Sync, corrected by elderman -- -- for addic7ed.Com --